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Put simply, a needy person doesn’t feel good inside and then saddles the other person with the responsibility to make them feel better… whoops, “my battery died, sorry I didn’t call you back last night.” Nobody’s perfect. When you boil it all down, neediness is not some set of behaviors. When a person takes on the belief that another person is responsible for their happiness, their sense of well-being and their sense of self-esteem, then it’s guaranteed that they’re going to act needy as a result of that mindset.

But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!Also includes a free 5-day email series that helps you gain clarity around why you've been in unavailable relationships and what it is that you really need and want. Quit forcing you to do stuff that makes you feel utterly rubbish about yourself in the name of ‘winning’ someone or something.For a start, forcing anything leads to pain and general ickiness.When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a teacher, then a detective (like Columbo or Jessica Fletcher, ahem), and then a writer.Many moons later, and here I am teaching people who are tired of emotional unavailability, toxic relationships, and feeling 'not good enough', how to reduce their emotional baggage so that they can reclaim themselves and make space for better relationships and opportunities.

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I can’t go into as much depth as I’d like to in this post, but men and women have different senses of how they’d like to be noticed for things (and what they’d like to be noticed for.) At the root of it, when a man feels like he make a woman happy, he will not want to be in a relationship with her (or if he stays, he will not want to deepen it). Back to neediness: When a woman starts acting needy, especially in the beginning of a relationship, it shows up as the ultimate red flag. Neediness is synonymous with ’emotional dependency’, as in: “This woman is dependent on the guy in order for her to feel good.” Now, sometimes when I start explaining this, I’ll get a comment saying, “Oh so what? You can have it all, too, but what I’m trying to explain in this article is that you don’t get it from it.

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